“Trauma” is often a misunderstood, overused, and confusing term.

An event can be traumatic. And it can lead to being traumatized. Often times what is the most traumatic, however, is what happens to us on the inside after the event(s) or relationship(s). The lack of support or gaslighting can be more damaging than what happened.

Renowned trauma expert Gabor Maté describes trauma this way:

"Trauma is a psychic wound that hardens you psychologically that then interferes with your ability to grow and develop. It pains you and now you're acting out of pain. It induces fear and now you're acting out of fear. Trauma is not what happens to you, it's what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.”

The ‘what happened to you’ can be from medical procedures, natural disasters, military experience, cultural harm, and sexual assault/abuse just to name a few. In addition, unhealthy relationships can be a common traumatic trigger.

Ways we manifest trauma are varied as well. Things like addictions, attention issues, anger problems, deep grief, anxiety, and chronic pain can be clues there is unprocessed trauma.

Healing isn’t about blaming, it’s about being seen, heard, and validated. Modern neuroscience is now proving how brains develop new pathways as trauma is processed through talking, drawing, playing, dancing, or a multitude of other outlets. Giving your story a voice can bring peace and healing.

If you are interested in learning more about trauma and its impact mentally and physically, here is a short list of resources.

Gabor Maté and Daniel Maté: “The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture”

Nadine Burke Harris “The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Trauma and Adversity”

Bessel van der Kolk “The Body Keeps the Score”

Peter Levine “Waking the Tiger - Healing Trauma”

Mark Wolynn “It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle”

Judith Lewis Herman “Trauma and Recovery”